Take Me For A Joyride!

Life is always an adventure.

I love it!

It seems like I've been finding a lot of adventure recently, it's either that or my Senioritis has set in and I just want to spend my last few months here enjoying people and things that I won't be able to do when real adulthood kicks in.

Sunday night after work a couple friends and I "borrowed" a shopping cart from Price Cutter... It was for a class project about Homelessness, but it is going down in history as one of the greatest memories I've made at Evangel thus far.

Yesterday we were hit with ice and sleet making the roads slick. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to venture out to a friends house for pizza, movies, and an adventure. We made it successfully to the house with only one mishap. That being me sliding into someone's front yard, and driving through their grass to regain control of good 'ole Pearl (my car)! It was really scary I was just lucky they didn't have any trees or vehicles I could have slammed into.

Later in the evening we decided to go play in the mess outside. We ventured into the unknown, AKA a drainage tunnel that fills during heavy rains, most of the year it is empty and dry. While inside the tunnel we found a smaller tunnel and decided to see where it led. About 100 yards in it got scary and we decided it would be best to turn around. Of course the guys I was with decided to freak me out, so I'm franticly crawling though this, "man hole" sized tunnel to get to safety. At the end I was pushed out and I didn't get my feet planted just right when I catapulted to the ground and landed on my ankle wrong. It really hurt, but I walked it off. And then walked some more and about 2 hours later finally got back to the house to take some I.B. Prufen. Luckily the 18 degree weather acted as a giant atmospheric ice pack and kept it from swelling too bad. Unfortunately this morning, I woke up with a balloon for an ankle. Yay for spraining your ankle on an adventure!

Regardless it was a blast and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
As soon as my ankle heals of course...

So I think I'll continue to take life for a joy ride...
at least this week!

Static

The weather/atmosphere/whatever here in Missouri really messes with my hair and I am not too happy about it. I look like my hair got in a fight with a balloon and lost.

Also the cold makes my nose runny which is not very exciting. Actually it is quite frustrating to have to always have a kleenex on hand.
It all kind of reminds me of the 2 year old version of myself, playing at the park in the winter. We all know what slides to do fine hair...

I hate it when your hair gets static and sticks to your face, hands, and whatever else you use to try to move is...at least as an adult I know tricks to make it a little less static. When I was 2 I had no idea what to do and it'd get in my runny nose and well...you get the picture. Somehow though people still thought I was cute.

Too bad static hair and runny noses are only cute when you're 2 and playing at the park...

The Trip From Hades

So I am currently typing from St. Louis' Lambert Airport. I arrived here at about 6:30pm central time, ate some dinner. Rented a movie from the red box, watched it and then found out that my flight (which was scheduled to leave at 9pm) would be about four hours late.

This wouldn't be so bad if St. Louis wasn't a whopping three hour drive from Springfield.

Seriously...

I am trying to figure out what the heck I am doing sitting here. By the time I land in Springfield around 1am I will have sat for approximately 12 hours, that's including the two hour time change. I arrived at Sea-Tac Airport at 11am Pacific time and will have spent a whole 3.5 hours on an airplane and 9 hours waiting for one...

My back is killing me, I'm hungry and all the places are now closed, I had to pay $8 just to use the internet, and I'm tired. I know I'm whining, but seriously, this is ridiculous. I could have driven to Springfield twice in the amount of time I've waited for this plane.

I really should ask for double the airline miles or something...

It All Comes To An End

Sadly, my Christmas break has come to a close.

I am all packed...well pretty much...and have everything in order to head to the airport and back to Missouri in the morning. I would say I'm all "ready to go", but who is ever really ready to leave home for a long period of time?

I for sure am not!

It's weird to think that I'm kinda excited to get back to see friends and that this is the last semester I will ever see some of these friends. I forgot about that part of my education when I moved to Missouri. I am excited for all that this FINAL semester has to offer, and kind of heart broken. I hate that I have finally gotten to a comfortable place there and it's almost time to go. Grrr...this love hate relationship I have with Missouri!

My point in writing today, however, has nothing to do with the end of my academic career at Evangel. It has everything to do with my family (and friends) and the memories I have made over my break.

My Favorite Things

Memories from Christmas Break 08-09

1. Snow...

It snowed more than I have EVER seen it snow in Seattle. It is the most snow I've ever seen that wasn't on a mountain.

2. The Great Christmas Tree Adventure...

Ahh the memory of trekking through the snow with my family to find the perfect tree. It was really fun. There was a plastic igloo covered in snow, peacocks, and talking turkeys! I went over to the turkeys and greeted them with a "gobble gobble" and would you believe it...they responded back with a rousing "gobble gobble gobble". My mom, sister, and I laughed so hard we almost peed our pants!

3. Sledding with Emily...

So before it snowed 3 ft...as in when it had only snowed 2, my sister and I stole, well borrowed, with permission, one of the neighbor kids' sleds and trekked over to the High School, which boasts some pretty gnarly hills, for a sister sledding escapade! If only you could have seen us. We both put on WAY too many layers and were wearing old snow clothes that barely fit. My bibs were high waters and my boots were low rise which with any sudden movement proved disastrous for my socks... Needless to say every time I bent over, stepped, etc. I had to beg my sister to pull my pants down. I would have done it myself, except for the fear of the bibs ripping up the back. We had a grand 'ole time, my sister and me! We crashed more than enough times, slid down the steepest hill ever on our bellies, and laughed crying in the snow exhausted. Upon arrival home, my sister discovered that she has sweat more than she ever had when her gray shirt, under all the layers was sopping wet with sweat. All the between layers were dry... Oh man, I'm laughing right now just retelling this story. It was seriously, THE MOST FUN, I've ever had with my sister.

4. Christmas Eve...

Christmas Eve is slammed with tradition for the Graver household. The morning is spent, cooking, and preparing for the Graver family get together, when we pack all of my aunt's, uncle's, and cousins under one roof, eat, play, open gifts, and engage in a gift wrap paper wad war. Since there were no babies present this year there wasn't a safe place to hide, and brilliant me sat in the middle of it all with a headache. Prime target for all. Needless to say I got pegged in the head more than a few times, but it was fun. Most of us braved the 3ft of snow to make it and watched as another foot of massive flakes covered our tracks while we enjoyed each other's company. I killed my relatives on an XBox game called LIPS. It's like Karaoke, but 10 times better. I got the highest score on my uncles game! Upon arrival home, gifts from the Graver exchange in tow, my mom, dad, sister and I turned up the Christmas tunes, and opened our gifts to each other. We all got some great surprises. I love seeing the looks on their faces when they open my gifts...as Sue from the Surprise Party SNL skit would say, "It's the best part!" After gift opening we all head to bead and dream of what Santa (mom) will bring!

5. Christmas Day...

Since we couldn't find our stockings this year..."Santa" put our gifts in boxes. Christmas morning we open our gifts from Santa, listen to Christmas music, cook, and wait for Grandma and Grandpa Permann to arrive. This year due to the snow and their age, they took the train. This year we got the bonus of a white Christmas...we watched it snow all day. It was magical. It was only the second Christmas in my lifetime I've seen it snow. I won't bore you with our Christmas Day details, except know that my dad HATES cordialed cherries, but my grandma thinks he loves them. Ha ha ha, this always makes for a good laugh every Christmas when she gives him at least a box or two.

6. House Sitting...Or Not...

My dear friend Marla had me stay with her while she was house sitting, yeah, for a whole 6 hours. The family came home early. The fun part though was before they came home and we played in the snow like 5 year olds. Catching the HUGE flakes on our tongues, traipsing around in untouched snow that came up past our knees, jumping face first into the snow, and pushing each other down (the snow was so deep that if you fell you were almost kinda stuck in your hole till you got help). We ended up staying at my house after seeing a movie and having dinner with other friends. It was grand!

7. Emily and the Cheese Knife...

My sister LOVES gift exchanges. Well really who doesn't? Funny thing is that this year, at the Permann family gift exchange, Emily got cheese and a cheese knife. Ha ha ha ha, just what every 14 year old girl wants. She was so bitter that I got two movie tickets!

8. Dinner With Lizel...

My eldest friend Lizel and I drove up to Lynwood and ate at the Spaghetti Factory and talked. It was so good to spend time with her. She's my littlest friend!

9. New Years on the Island...

This new years I spent with my friend Marla on Camano Island in the Puget Sound (salt water). We stayed at the beach house of the family she is staying with right now. They cooked me so much food I gained 5 lbs. I loved my walk on the beach, making jokes about "marf knitting" (marf = man scarf, a scarf that a man wears), and sleeping in sub-freezing temperatures. It was really great to relax and do nothing in such a beautiful place. Uff da!

10. Beppo's...

My family and I drove into Seattle one evening for my favorite Italian food, Buca di Beppo's. Sadly my favorite item was no longer on the menu. Dinner was still good just a little sad.

11. Shopping with Cassie...

My best roommate and I got together and went to the mall to spend/return holiday gifts. She is one of my most amazing friends. I love that we can be apart for so long but hang out together like we never were.

12. My Dad's Golfing...

My dad got this annoying computer golf game for Christmas and he's been fixated at the computer since he got it. It's hilarious to watch though because when he swings the club at the ball he makes a HUGE jerky motion with the mouse and it looks and sounds like he's trying to take the kitchen counter out... =D

13. Marley and Me with my Mom...

Long story short, my mom and I saw the "Closed Captioned" version of Marley and Me. As in the screen had words on it. Not only that...but the rude mother next to us brought her 3 year old child who couldn't sit still OR be quiet. The kid talked over the movie AND cried and if she wasn't doing that she was running up and down the stairs. It was frustrating and the perfect example of why you shouldn't bring young children to a movie.

All and all it was a pretty good break. I hope you enjoyed the stories

New Adventures

With a new year and countless possibilities for new adventures, I thought it would be appropriate to jump on the band wagon and get my own blog, separate from Facebook and Myspace, to share with whomever is intrigued, the goings on of my chaotic, common life.

This new year brings about timely change. Not only will I grow a year older, I will grow wiser, and stronger. I will start new victorious adventures and I will face planting violently in the middle of others.

All of the possibilities for adventure and life changes to come with this new year have caused me to spend a lot of time thinking about what I really want from my life. While it seems that this question is asked of me on a regular basis, I realized that I really haven’t put much thought into what I really want, who I really want to be, and how I want to get there.

It’s often hard to swallow the fact that come May 1st I can’t be a “child” anymore. I’m extremely excited to be graduating from college, but I am also scared beyond belief. I have never really had to fend for myself and be an adult. I suppose that it would be accurate to say that I’m afraid of failing. Ultimately, I know God has a perfect plan and that he will take care of me, but that fear continues to resonate in my heart.
It has been a long time since I sat down and wrote out what I want from my life. I’m pretty sure the last time I took the time to do this was in High School. Maybe taking the time to write everything out will help me feel more in control of my life, and less like I am sitting around waiting for life to push me forward.

1. I would love to go to Graduate School.

I have already started the application process at Eastern Washington University. It’s not as close to home as I would really like to be, but I really feel like that is where I should go. I still plan to apply at a couple other schools if I can afford it, but ultimately I think Eastern has the best program for me. If I don’t get into the full time Advanced Standing Program I will apply for the part time Advanced Standing Program in Everett, which is a lot closer to home than Cheney. This would allow me to work while going to school.

2. If I can’t get into a Graduate program this year then I will get a social work job and apply next year when I have some field experience.

3. It is my desire to be a school social worker and to be a school social worker you have to have a Masters. I don’t exactly know how I am going to pay back all my school debt, but I’m sure that God will help me find a way.

4. I want my family to be proud of me.

5. I want my mom and dad to finally understand why I am supposed to be a social worker, why I had to come to Missouri, and why I’ve taken the paths I’m walking.

6. I want my sister to see that if she works hard enough, she can be anything she wants to be and that she doesn’t have to compromise who she is and what she believes in to do it. I want to set an example for her and watch her go above and beyond the example I’ve set. I want her to be better than me, and not make some of the mistakes that I made.

7. I want to be the woman that God has called me to be.
I have really lowered my personal standards over the last five years. I have become a person I never imagined myself being. There isn’t anything necessarily wrong with the person I’ve become; I just know that it’s not who I was called to be. I’ve let the tough things in my life wear me out and tear me down more than I should. I’ve allowed myself to be in control of my future and only given God enough say to make sure I’m at least headed in the right direction, most of the time. I am tired of living this way. I am tired, thirsty, and broken. I am ready to stop fighting for myself and give God control over my everything again. It’s crazy because I’m not even entirely sure how I got to the point where I took control. All I know is that I am ready to let him love me again. Ready to be drenched by his grace, lost in his love, and filled with his forgiveness.

8. I want to be a woman worth following; a woman of great faith and integrity.

9. I want to walk in the spirit, filled with God’s great love, mercy, and grace.

10. I want to speak with kindness and purity of heart.

11. I want my mind to be on things that are holy and right.

12. I don’t want to be annoying and over-religious. I just want to be so lost in the love of Christ that people are drawn to me.

13. I don’t want to be a cliché.

14. I don’t want to make people feel worthless or less than.

15. I want to empower people to be the best possible version of themselves in Christ.

16. I want to be so beautiful inside that it shines through on the outside.

17. I want others to notice a difference in me without me having to say anything.

18. I want people to feel a sense of peace just being near me.

19. I want to reflect the intense love that Christ has for his children.

20. One of my other great desires in life is to be a wife and mother.

Now, I’ve been single for quite a few years, and it has been hard going through the emotions of feeling like I might not be good enough to love, that I’m not pretty enough, or that I’ve made too many mistakes for anyone to love me. It has been especially hard lately with a lot of my friends getting married. The hardest for me was when the guy I used to think was the one I was supposed to marry, married someone else. (FYI: I am totally happy for him!) I know that God’s plans and purposes are perfect and that he has someone incredibly special for me somewhere. It’s hard to be patient and wait for this man to come along. I know he will come and that he will be incredible. Waiting is just hard. I know that I need to be a woman worth marrying before I will find the man God is preparing for me.

21. So, I want to be a woman worth marrying.

22. I want to become this woman sooner than later and I’d like to find a man who doesn’t need “work”; a man worth marrying.

23. I want a man who will pursue me.

24. I want him to be an incredible man of faith and integrity.

25. I want him to have a desire to be in ministry in some way shape or form. He doesn’t have to be a pastor; he just has to want to donate part of his life to loving people with me.

26. I want a man who will be an incredible dad.

27. I want him to be funny, kind, and confident.

28. Someone who can handle finances well.

29. I want to find a man who will protect me and love me the way a husband should.

30. I want to be a mom.

31. I want to have three or four beautiful, healthy children.

32. I want to own a house with a big backyard.

33. I want to be successful.

34. I want to be happy.

35. I want to grow old with my husband and watch my children grow old and have their own children.

36. I want my little sister to be one of my best friends.

37. I want my dad to walk me down the aisle.

38. I want my mom to be the first person I call when I find out I'm going to have a baby.

39. I want faithful friends who stick with me through the good times and the bad; who cry with me when I can’t be strong and who laugh with me when I am.

40. I want to change the world…

I realize that I want a lot of things, that my life will not be perfect just because I wrote this out, and that some days will not be happy, but it’s totally possible for me to have all of these things. While it’s hard to wait for the things I really want. I am determined to wait on God’s timing for everything I ask, because ultimately his timing is best.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?